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Monday, November 28, 2011

Am I lazy because I’m exhausted, or am I exhausted because I’m lazy?

During a conversation that spanned pumpkin cheesecake, hard liquor, and then some non-dessert Thanksgiving leftovers, last night my hubs and I decided we needed to do something to drop some ell beez once all this food is gone. The hubs’ idea was to eliminate beef, pork, and dairy. I initially scoffed at this idea, as visions of lean meat and greek yogurt danced in my head – how could these things possibly be bad for us? And then it hit me. While we do eat some lean meat and greek yogurt, we mostly eat pizzas with bacon and onion, straight up bacon for breakfast on the weekend, cheese steak subs (the hubs favorite), and ice cream (my favorite). Perhaps eliminating beef, pork, and dairy for a short while wouldn’t be such a bad idea…

While reflecting on last night’s conversation today, I immediately started thinking about the other tweaks I’ve been wanting to make to my daily routine and decided to make a list:
  •          Morning meditation
  •          Evenings at the gym
  •          Yoga
  •          A more strict writing schedule
  •          Walking the dog more

While it’s not an extensive list, per se, it got me thinking that what I really want is to be a completely different person. Okay, maybe not completely different, but the question then arises: how many changes constitute my actually wanting to be someone else, and how hard would it be to alter my habits to become the person I want to be?

I’ve always had these ideas in my head about who I want to be and what I want to do someday. Well, when is someday? I guess if I want to do some things differently that I should just start being that person now. If only it were so easy. I feel as if I’m stuck in a pattern of bad habits that arose out of necessity: pizza for those nights I just can’t bear to cook us dinner, couch surfing because it costs less than going out and because it’s less aggravating than going to my overcrowded gym and having to wait to use a machine or sign up for a class an hour before it starts just to get a spot (Lynne Brick’s Belvedere Square can suck it), and not starting to write because I’m not 100% sure it’s what I want to write or what I should write. Sure, this sounds reasonable. You know what else sounds reasonable? I’m lazy.

One step at a time, I suppose. It’s fairly unrealistic to think I will wake up tomorrow and be able to institute all the things I want to do immediately, and even if I did that I could keep it up for more than a week. In the immediate I think I’ll finish the Thanksgiving leftovers and then consider cutting out beef, pork, and dairy. 

1 comment:

  1. It is hard. I want to be a person who goes to yoga every morning but then I think about how that would shift my schedule for the rest of the day and I'm not so sure about it anymore. For now I'm going to go on my work at home days.

    Re: gym, have you considered changing gyms to a place you can actually get in? Or if you're like me and hate it and won't go if you don't have to walk/drive right by it, straight out canceling that membership and putting the money into yoga classes or something?